I have been going IN on my current beliefs around money & channeling new wealth codes.
Yesterday, I was staring down what my current limiting beliefs are around money and it hit me–
Right in the face with a cold slap.
I didn’t want to acknowledge it and I also didn’t want to believe it as true… but it is.
My relationship is impacting my money, period.
Now before you start to think that I am blaming Aaron for my money reality, I’ll stop you there. That is NOT the case, however, what I have noticed is that his “logical” mind and saving for a rainy day beliefs, it has created a sense of shame around my abundant, other-worldly beliefs about money!
If you are in a relationship, you may find that you are the optimist and your partner is the “realist”.
P.s. Being realistic is just code for scarcity & lack. Preparing for the worst and hoping for the best.
This can be so hard to navigate in a relationship when you are pursuing your limitless potential and your partner is trying to keep safe and play small purely because that is what they know to be true. This is fine because it is their life.
But because I fear that Aaron doesn’t truly understand or deeply comprehend exactly what I am creating and how my relationship with money is fluid, open and expansive, I fear a projection in his mind (which hasn’t actually been spoken out but I have created that narrative) that I am being careless, indulgent and not thinking about the long game.
What’s funny is that everything I am doing is the “long game” but all I am doing is fearing his judgement for where I am right now!
Judgement on a conversation that hasn’t even been had!
Yesterday I went shopping.
I bought myself all new work out gear & trainers, some delicious Aesop products which I have wanted for quite some time and also a few extra things.
(BECAUSE MY BODY AND SOUL IS SO FUCKING ABUNDANT I GET TO ENJOY THE LUXURIES OF LIFE!)
I love spending money and I love receiving money.
Holy shit though… I noticed I wasn’t excited when I was purchasing these things, even though I have been craving it. I was so excited to leave the house and go buy them but as I was doing it, I felt… disconnected, greedy & apathetic.
That ain’t my vibe and when I was driving home I reflected on my experience.
I couldn’t shake it.
I started to think “fuck maybe I am not as abundant as I think I am.”
“Maybe Aaron is right… maybe I am just way too ‘flimsy’ with my money”
“What if I don’t receive as much money as I think I am?”
It just left me feeling gross, and totally not vibing my purchases.
It then lead me into a tail spin as I started diving into this shadow & journaled to a belief system that I didn’t even know existed.
That I am too abundant and put too much trust in my money that I am being silly with how I spend.
I have created a narrative that keeps me feeling some shame around the bigness of money in fear of outgrowing my partner.
But then I realised… what if I just allowed my self to be unapologetic in how much money I make, create, receive & spend so by default, I can show him what is possible.
The beauty of this realisation is that I have bought the subconscious, conscious and I can choose differently now!
No longer will I fear that I am too abundant and flippant with my money.
No longer will I feel like I should apologise for what I spend.
No longer will I feel like I need to keep a “lid” on what is possible so that I am still connected to the 3D world.
I choose DELICIOUS, free flowing energy of money. And bitch, I get to celebrate it all!
I celebrated my purchases, I celebrated my bank account, I celebrated Aaron in trying to protect me & I celebrated my existence which is divinely aligned to the cosmos.
So universe…. I open to receive you and the energy of money with a huge fuck off smile on my face, and open pussy & an expanding heart full of love.